How to Handle Child Arrangements After Divorce
Updated: 14 hours ago
Divorce can be hard, especially when children are involved. Parents must decide where the children will live, how much time they will spend with each parent and who makes important decisions about their future. Making child arrangements after divorce helps put the children's needs first. This guide explains how to agree them and what to do if you cannot.
Child arrangements are agreements or court orders that explain how a child is cared for after parents separate. You may also hear the older terms child custody or contact. In England and Wales, the law now talks about child arrangements instead.
What are child arrangements?
Child arrangements are agreements or court orders that explain:
Where the child will live: which parent the child will stay with most of the time.
Time spent with the other parent: how often the child will visit or stay with the other parent, such as at weekends, in holidays or on birthdays.
Who makes decisions: how big choices about the child's life, like their school or medical care, are made.
The goal is to give children stability, safety and support after their parents separate. The same ideas apply to older children and to young people, although their own views carry more weight as they grow up.
Steps to decide child arrangements
1. Talk to the other parent
The best way to decide on child arrangements is to talk directly with your ex partner. When you talk, try to:
Focus on what is best for the children.
Stay calm and respectful.
Be willing to compromise.
If you both agree, you can make an informal arrangement or write down the details to avoid misunderstandings.
2. Write a parenting plan
A parenting plan is a written record of what you have agreed. It can cover day to day matters, such as school runs, holidays, birthdays and how you will share information. A parenting plan is not a court order, so it is not legally binding. Even so, it is a useful tool, and a court may take it into account if there is a later dispute.
The government has guidance on making child arrangements if you divorce or separate, including how to get help if you cannot agree.
3. Try mediation
If you cannot agree, mediation might help. A mediator is a neutral person who listens to both parents and helps them work out a solution. Mediation is usually less stressful and cheaper than going to court.
In most cases, you need to attend a mediation information and assessment meeting (MIAM) before you can apply to court. There are exceptions, for example where there is domestic abuse. A solicitor can explain whether you need to go.
What happens if you cannot agree?
If parents cannot agree, even with mediation, they can apply to the court for a child arrangements order. This is a legal decision made by a judge about:
Where the child will live.
How often the child will see each parent.
Any other important arrangements.
A court order is legally binding. If a parent does not follow it, the other parent can go back to court. The order is made under the Children Act 1989, which sets out the principles courts follow.
How does the court decide?
When making a decision, the court always puts the child's welfare first. Judges look at things like:
Safety and well-being: making sure the child is safe and cared for.
The child's wishes: if the child is old enough, the court may ask for their views.
The parents' ability to care: ensuring both parents can provide a stable home.
Any risks: checking for problems like violence, neglect or domestic abuse.
Health: the child's physical and mental health needs, and the effect of any change.
The court's main goal is to make sure the child has the best possible arrangement. It does not take sides between parents.
Can child arrangements change?
Yes. Over time, things might change, and the arrangements may need to be updated. For example:
One parent might move to a new city.
The child might want to spend more time with one parent.
The child's schedule might change because of school or activities.
Parents can try to agree on new arrangements. If not, they can go back to mediation or ask the court to make changes. If a parent wants to move abroad with a child, special rules apply. See our guide to international relocation with children after divorce.
Child maintenance and money
Child arrangements deal with where children live and who they see. Money is dealt with separately. Child maintenance is financial support from the parent who does not provide day-to-day care. You can read about it on the Child Maintenance Service page on GOV.UK. A solicitor can help if your case also involves a wider financial settlement.
Tips for successful co-parenting
Focus on your child's needs. Always make decisions that are best for your child, not what is easiest for you.
Communicate respectfully. Be polite and keep conversations focused on your child.
Be flexible. Life changes, so try to adapt when needed.
Avoid conflict in front of your child. Do not argue or involve them in disagreements. They should not feel caught in the middle.
Look after your own wellbeing. Separation is hard for parents too. Support from friends, family or a counsellor can help you stay calm for your children.
How Canko Law Firm can help
At Canko Law Firm, we know that handling child arrangements after divorce can be stressful. Our family law team can:
Give legal advice: explain your rights and help you understand your options and responsibilities.
Support you through mediation: work with you to find an agreement without going to court.
Assist with court applications: if needed, help you apply for a child arrangements order.
Represent you in court: make sure your voice is heard and your child's best interests are protected.
Conclusion
Child arrangements are about making sure children have a safe, stable and happy life after a divorce. Whether you can work things out with the other parent or need help from a mediator or the court, there are ways to find a solution.
If you need advice or support, Canko Law Firm is here to help. Contact us today to get professional guidance and protect your child's future. You may also find our guide to finding the best family law solicitors near you useful.
